I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m still far too selfish and screwed up to even be thinking of being involved with someone, let alone anyone, right now. Stop it, Louise. Grab a hold of yourself and realize that this is not meant for you.
I’m scared I’ve lost the care or need to care to be in a deeply committed relationship.
We are all contingent beings, therefore it isn’t necessary for us to even be here. We just happened to exist, by chance thanks to random genetic selection. And if it is not necessary for us to be here, why should it be necessary to try and find someone who’ll you interact with enough so you copulate and create another generation of contingent beings?
A relationship, just like humans, doesn’t need to exist in order for the world to keep moving on. A relationship is nothing but a universal (but contingent) concept created by us contingent beings to make ourselves seem or feel as if it is necessary for us to exist.
And I think it’s because I’ve come to this somewhat logical argument that I’ve become so apathetic about relationships. It’s either that or I’ve been craving such personal intimacy for so long, that I’ve forgotten what it’s like; and in order to cope with such, I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need to be in one.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
And we hang out a lot. You’re even the one who invites me too.
And you make me laugh like a little school girl.
I almost forgot what it’s like to feel like this.
I like your face, and I like your vibe, but that doesn’t mean I’ve fallen for you. At least, I don’t think not yet.